After a long week, the last thing I want to do is get dressed up for an evening out with my husband. I mean this would entail me actually getting out of my regular uniform of workout clothes! I’m tired, burnt out and not feeling very attractive. Come Friday night, all I want to do is crawl from one stretchy outfit to another, pour myself a glass of wine and pray that I have some decent leftovers to feed the family. They’re easy and have learned not to expect much out of their usually overachieving mom. I’m thankful for this!
However, that doesn’t mean that I don’t think date nights aren’t important or even essential. In fact, I recently discovered that we have gotten quite lazy in the date night department ending in way too many nights at home slumped into the corner of the couch. While we are still spending time together, conversations have grown stale (consistently of kid themed topics etc.), we’ve become lazy and most importantly, we aren’t making our relationship a priority.
Just like in any organization, in the home things start at the top and work there way down. As parents, we “wear many hats.” We are the managers, leaders, counselors, role models and organizers. We put so many things ahead of ourselves that we often lose ourselves in the chaos of it all. The problem with this of course is that if you give everything away, you have very little for each other and the “organization” as a whole suffers.
I have spent years telling my friends how important it is to take care of themselves, have their own identity and have regular date nights. I’ve observed so many over the years break their backs day after day caring for their kids and husband, leaving little time for themselves or even demanding any time for themselves. Given our endless responsibilities that reach far greater than those of our husbands (sorry guys!) we deserve to be wined and dined for god sake! And that doesn’t mean take out and a movie on the couch.
While all that is fine and dandy, I myself don’t always practice what I preach. In fact, just this past weekend I had a hard time dragging my sweat swearing butt out of the corner of the couch when my husband said “what would you like to do, dinner and movie?” I mean, one minute I’m complaining about not ever doing anything and the next I’m saying “do we have to go out?” Women right?
Well since I’m a “take action” kind of girl, I’ve decided that I’m going to put out some serious effort in the date night department. First, I told my husband that we needed to make more of an effort to get out and spend time together. He agreed. I told him that we should create a jar full of date ideas and choose from it when we get stuck. We can even include conversational topics. After 20 years of marriage, things can get stale.
Well it’s Friday night, and as comfy as this couch is, I’m going to drag my butt up and out and make and effort to be “bright eyed and bushy tailed” when my hubby comes home from work. Since the weather warrants a cozy night in, I’ve decided that I’ll make a nice dinner, grab a few movies and we will go to work on finishing our “date night jar.” We’ve been jotting down ideas all week long, so it will be fun to share our ideas and place them into a jar for use at a later time when we need a little inspiration. We will also take some time to plan an evening out tomorrow night so that we stay true to our goal of getting out of the house together. I’m thinking comedy club!
If you and yours is getting into a slump, not making your relationship a priority or simply not having any fun, I challenge you to get up and get busy. Relationships take time and energy. Make a goal that you will talk about things other than the kids when you’re out. You’ll share your hobbies, dreams and anything else that takes you away from the day to day stuff that fills your life. Be spontaneous and do something different or go back to doing some of the things you did when you first met. Most importantly, just get up and get out; you won’t regret it!